Why I Scoff at 'Business Excellence Awards' (And You Should Too)

Ever wondered why every time you turn around, there's another 'Business Excellence Award' popping up like daisies? Trust me, I've been there, and let's just say my trophy shelf is still collecting dust. Why? Because while everyone's busy polishing their acceptance speeches, I'm out there actually doing the work. So, buckle up as I take you through the absurd, sometimes hilarious world of these awards.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Business Awards

Here's the thing: business awards can be a pat on the back, sure. But when you've seen what I've seen, they often feel more like a pat on the ego. I've watched competitors get crowned for sustainability, and then drive off in their gas-guzzling behemoths. Irony much?

And then there's the criteria—oh boy! Sometimes, it feels like these awards are more about who has the slickest PR team rather than genuine innovation or impact. I've been to ceremonies where the 'pioneering business award' went to companies that wouldn't know innovation if it hit them with a drone delivery.

My Love-Hate Relationship with the Accolades

Don't get me wrong, I've been nominated a few times. I even won a couple, back when I thought they meant something. But now? I'd rather focus on real results—like impacting customer lives, not just impressing a panel of judges who seem to flip a coin.

In fact, let me tell you about the time I actually attended one of these gala events. There I was, suited up, only to listen to speeches that seemed to drag longer than a Monday without coffee. And when they finally announced the winners, it was like watching a rerun—same winners, different year. Yawn.

Why These Awards Miss the Mark

• Inconsistency in Standards: What's excellent this year is passé next.
• Overemphasis on Presentation Over Substance: It's not Hollywood, folks.
• Recycling Winners: Seriously, there should be a cap on how many times you can win for the same 'innovation'.
• Networking Fest Disguised as Awards: More schmoozing than substance.
• Entry Fees That Could Sponsor a Small Village: Ever notice how these awards always cost a pretty penny to even get your foot in the door?

So yeah, while everyone else is chasing accolades, I'm over here trying to genuinely make a dent in the universe. Call it idealistic, but I'd rather be known for the difference I make, not the shiny objects on my mantel.

What Really Counts at the End of the Day

In my experience, the true award is seeing a product you developed solve a real-world problem, or getting a thank-you note from a satisfied client. That beats any trophy or title. Plus, staying out of the award fray means more time to focus on what really matters—like spending an afternoon fishing with my kids or figuring out how to automate yet another mundane task.

And let's not forget the joy of mocking these pompous awards ceremonies with my wife after the kids go to bed. We've turned it into our own little roast session. Much more entertaining!